It is 1:45 a.m., 37 degrees, raining, and the heater in my apartment is broken. But that’s okay. This is like the tropics compared to what it will probably be a couple months from now. Besides, I am tough! (I am pounding my fists on my chest like a guerrilla from southern California)
Here is an organized list of experiences in the last week, as well as their overall significance:
1. I went to a lecture by author Susie Squire on her book, I Don’t (about the evolution of marriage).
“Back in the day,” she said. “People died young. If you think about how high the divorce rate is nowadays, it is because divorce is really just a substitute for death.”
At one point in talking she trailed off, looked around, and said, “I’m thirsty.” Before someone could reach her with a bottle of water, she picked up a cup, walked to the refreshment table, and poured herself some wine.
“I’ve been married twice,” she continued. “And the second marriage has been going for twenty years now. I haven’t divorced yet because frankly I’m too old to find somebody else. Just kidding. No but seriously. My husband isn’t here tonight.”
All throughout, people were laughing. While she signed my book I asked her what age she thought was appropriate to get married.
“Well,” she said. “You’re young. You don’t want to marry for love alone. That is not enough. You need to marry for stability. Someone who will support you when you’re pregnant.”
On the train back I looked at what Susie wrote in my book.
For Elizabeth – The best of luck whether it is I Do or I Don’t.
Questions came flooding in. Were people laughing because they thought she was joking or because they were too shocked to acknowledge that she was serious?
2. I went to Salem, MA for a day. It is a fun place to go this time of year. It indeed has a slightly haunting quality. The memorial for the witches is a long row of engraved concrete. The words are those quoted from the people who were executed, cracked in the middle of the worlds to symbolize the way they were well...interrupted. I feel bad for those people (witches) who were caught in such a ludicrous situation and so lucky to live in this day and age.
Side note: It is also good to live nowadays because of heating systems. Oh wait, unless they don’t work. Even though you pay rent.3. A couple days ago I tried to play music in public. There I was standing in the Boston common. For fifteen minutes I didn’t play one note, but it certainly was a show. Right when I was ready to start, the music stand, with all its weights and paperclips, crashed to the sidewalk, sending the music flying. I tried the same process three more times before putting away the flute, throwing my stuff back in my bag, and storming off.
4. Yesterday after a meeting with my writers’ group I walked out of the café to discover that my car was not where I parked it. I looked on adjacent side streets to see if I was suffering from temporary dimentia, but a call to the police department confirmed that it had been towed. When I reexamined the place I parked it, I realized that the sidewalk, though not that low to the ground, was a driveway to a house about 50 yards back. After I got my car back, driving home, I got philosophical.
a. The unnerving experience of thinking your car has been stolen releases adrenaline. Coming down from the adrenaline was when I realized, that lot of my experiences here have been fueled by adrenaline...not always as a result of panic, but rather, anxiety. Anxiety is the motivator for accomplishment. I'll admit that most of the time I feel dissatisfied with myself, constantly striving for higher levels of success, and I guess more importantly, lack of failure. Preparing to come here was all about the big picture, but the little picture is actually much more difficult to figure out.
When one thing makes you question your entire life, you have to take a step back and look again at the big picture. It is so very big that each disaster is merely one tiny piece on a beautiful, gargantuan mosaic. ☺
That was probably a lot of information.
That was probably a lot of information.
To end, here is a picture of a 1 and 1/2 ton pumpkin:
1 comment:
have you come to any conclusions on what people were laughing about?
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