Tuesday, November 12, 2013

What We Talk About When We Talk About...

1. Hair

Answer this for me, my little chicklets. Why is it that the Red Sox get all this attention for shaving their beards, but when I go in for a hair cut, I GET NOTHING?! Actually, I get less than nothing. I lose three hours of my life breathing in toxic chemicals as my scalp screams, my bank account drains, and my inner child sobs while taking in celebrity gossip in People Magazine circa 1993. Why wasn't I born as a male pro athlete?

(Fyi, I will be donating this mess in the spring, because I AM A GOOD PERSON, right?).



2. Halloween

For those of you who accept me for who I am (if you're reading this, you're on that track), you know that nothing gives me so much of an endorphin rush/rise/natural high as pulling off a great Halloween costume.

I mean nothing. Not even breathing.

That's why this entry might seem like the tip of the iceberg of an extreme narcissist.
Don't worry, though. I promise, I am not [that much of] a narcissist. I just think these topics are worth discussing.

The criteria for these costumes are the following:

  • very politically incorrect
  • borderline offensive
  • use of eye liner
  • sometimes the use of fake tanner.



Let's recall the moments in time when I shined the most.
  • 2004: Baby Spice (of the Spice Girls)




  • 2008: Ozzy Osbourne




  • 2010: Octomom


Octomom



  • 2011: Occupy Wall Street















  • 2012: Tanorexic Mom






  • 2013: Paula Dean









What happened in between 2005 and 2008? you might be wondering.
I don't remember, is the answer, which can only mean one thing. Or several.


3. Vegetables



I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT! I...am...now..a...











vegetarian.












Am I crazy? you might ask.
You know it, and that's why you like me.

The reasons for this decision include the following:

  • I love animals.
  • I may have been brainwashed by pro-vegetarianism documentaries on netflix.
  • I want to singlehandedly save the planet from selfish, global-warming-inducing jerk politicians. That along with donating my hair makes me A GOOD PERSON, right?


Additionally, I want to do it for me, and for all those other chicklets out there who just...wish they could be me.

Sigh.

HOWEVER, I want to be clear. I know I'm not, but I want to be.

I am not trying to brainwash you, chicklets. EAT WHAT YOU WANT.

Now you can roll your eyes and judge me for being weird and making it difficult to go out to dinner with me, even though it isn't difficult for YOU.



4. Falling
  •  Falling back for daylight savings time: I HATE IT. 
  •  Fall in New England: I LOVE IT.

















Thursday, October 17, 2013

I'm a Musician (damnit)!

Yes, that's right. Since the womb, rocking out to 1980's ballads through the headphones, since toddler-ism, banging with both fists on a fake piano, since early childhood when I was the only person under 40 at rock concerts with my dad. And most importantly, since the day I watched Annie Lennox through the TV screen, singing in a music video from YEARS before my birth, and she randomly whipped out a flute and played three notes. That was it for me! The rest is history.


No, but seriously. No.

In a flash I am now in my mid, to late, to mid twenties, and thinking, WTF?

I drive more than many soccer moms do, between my teaching commitments in six different locations, performances in countless additional locations, weddings in locations not ever even seen on satellites, my day job, suburban living location...........splat.

How do I do it? people ask.

With multi vitamins, coffee, and no real weekends, I answer.

How is that a legit career? people ask, either with words, or with looks.

How is it not? I reply, my inner child crumbling under the weight of constant misunderstanding, judgement, and failed efforts for justification.

Why did I choose this rough, inconsistent lifestyle when I could've been President?

Sometimes I know the answer, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I have amnesia at what got me here. Then other times, thankfully, I remember. It is because I believe.

I believe art is legitimate. I believe that it saves people. I believe that it saved me. I believe it is worthy of a life in it.

I also believe that being a musician is more fun than being President, and it is an equal level of service as being a politician. Especially these last few weeks.

I could've been a doctor, but I get nauseous at the sight of paper cuts. Or a lawyer, but I'm too good of a person.

But enough hypoteheticalizing.

Enough whining!

This is just the cycle, my little chicklets.

I work hard, I sweat, I struggle, I work harder, I fall, I get up, and I keep going. Then, I reach a successful point and all is well. And then the process repeats again.

The most recent point of success is worth talking about.

On Columbus Day weekend, and I was backstage of Distler Performance Hall at Tufts University, not coordinating or managing logistics of a concert (which is my actual job there), but getting ready to perform in it. I perform often, but this time, I was the producer AND performer.

"How many people are here?" I asked the stage manager before the show began.

"A lot," he said. "Like 40."

"For real?"

"Yep."

I proceeded to jump up and down.

"People SHOWED UP! ON A HOLIDAY WEEKEND! REAL FLESH IN BLOOD PEOPLE! WOW!"

The audience would grow to almost 100, plus at least half that many viewers on the online live stream.

Then, there was a moment on stage, with the dancers and actors and other musicians, when it seemed right. I felt happiness percolating from the 20 fellow artists at having an opportunity to perform, to do what they love for an appreciative audience.

So, this is what it's all about.

(A good review doesn't hurt either.)

Stay tuned for when this concert, Proclaiming Pan, will appear on youtube in the coming weeks.

So, until "reality" sets in again, I'd like to declare that I am a musician. Until tomorrow, when I'll want to be President or the next world class basket weaver.


Sunday, September 15, 2013

Little Poster, Big World

 Oh thee little poster in a coffee shop, how longst will thou survive in this poster-eat-poster kind of world?
--> I am planning a concert in October called Proclaiming Pan. See more information here and here. If you live in Boston, PLEASE  COME.
 PLEASE. 
If you come, I'll give you tickets at  
50% off
No..
75% off
No.
FREE. 
(Admission is actually free to begin with)
No. 
I will PAY you to come. 
No. 
Actually, yes. I literally will.   
It is on the Tufts University Music calendar. Make sure it is on yours!
 
By the way, I'm happy to be back on the blog-o-sphere. I will keep it updated regularly from now on! :-)